What truly matters in life? It’s a question we all wrestle with at some point—during moments of triumph, in times of loss, or simply on a quiet Sunday afternoon. Surprisingly, the answers aren’t buried in self-help books or lofty ideals. They’re rooted in science, shared by those who’ve lived long lives, and whispered through the wisdom of generations.
What if you could cut through the noise and focus on the core of what makes life rich and meaningful? Here’s what research—and the voices of experience—tell us about the seven things that truly matter.
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what truly matters in life?
Life is more than a series of tasks or milestones—it’s about connection, growth, and well-being. So, what does this mean in practice?
The Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest-running studies on human happiness, reveals a profound truth: not wealth, power, or fame brings lasting joy and fulfillment. Instead, strong, healthy relationships are the cornerstone of a meaningful life. Friends, family, and community create the web of support and belonging that sustains us through life’s ups and downs.
But relationships aren’t the only piece of the puzzle. Those who reflect on their lives near their end often point to love, purpose, and how they spent their most precious resource: time. A well-lived life is filled with moments of connection, pursuits that ignite passion, and a conscious choice to prioritize what truly matters.
Science and wisdom align on this point: the measure of a good life isn’t in material success but in the richness of our relationships and the depth of our experiences.
The 7 Things That Matter in Life
1. Purpose in Life
A sense of purpose is more than just a lofty ideal—it’s a driving force that gives life direction and meaning. Purpose anchors you when life feels chaotic and motivates you to persevere through challenges. Whether it’s pursuing a career that aligns with your passions, nurturing a family, or contributing to your community, having a “why” behind your actions fuels resilience and satisfaction.
The science backs this up: studies consistently show that people with a clear sense of purpose tend to live longer, healthier, and more fulfilling lives. They report higher levels of overall well-being and are better equipped to handle stress and adversity. Purpose isn’t just a philosophical concept; it’s a key component of mental and physical health.
Actionable Advice:
- Reflect on what excites and fulfills you: Think about the activities, goals, or moments that make you feel alive and engaged. What gives you a sense of contribution or joy?
- Set goals aligned with your values: Identify what truly matters to you and establish goals that reflect these priorities. Having a roadmap grounded in your values ensures you’re working toward something meaningful.
- Volunteer for causes you’re passionate about: Helping others not only provides a sense of purpose but also connects you with like-minded individuals. Whether it’s mentoring, environmental activism, or community service, find a cause that resonates with you.
By cultivating purpose in your life, you create a guiding light that helps you navigate the complexities of life with clarity and enthusiasm.
2. Health
When you’re physically and mentally well, you have the energy and capacity to chase your dreams, build relationships, and savor life’s joys. On the other hand, poor health can hinder even the simplest pleasures and make achieving goals feel like an uphill battle.
Taking care of your health isn’t just about avoiding illness; it’s about optimizing your quality of life. Regular physical activity boosts your energy levels, improves mood, and reduces the risk of chronic diseases. A balanced diet nourishes your body and mind, fueling you for the demands of daily life. Mental health is equally vital—practices like mindfulness, meditation, or simply taking time to rest can help manage stress and maintain emotional balance.
Actionable Advice:
- Prioritize regular health check-ups: Early detection of potential health issues can make a significant difference. Schedule routine appointments with your doctor, dentist, and other healthcare providers to stay proactive about your well-being.
- Develop a consistent exercise routine: Whether it’s walking, swimming, strength training, or yoga, find activities you enjoy and commit to moving your body regularly.
- Practice stress-reducing techniques: Chronic stress can take a toll on both physical and mental health. Incorporate mindfulness practices like meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga into your routine to help manage stress effectively.
By nurturing your physical and mental health, you’re investing in your ability to fully engage with life. Health isn’t just a priority—it’s the foundation for achieving everything else that truly matters.
3. Relationships (Family & Friendship)
Strong relationships are at the heart of a happy and meaningful life. Humans are inherently social beings, and the connections we forge with family, friends, and our broader community provide emotional support, a sense of belonging, and even physical health benefits.
The Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the most comprehensive studies on well-being, highlights a compelling insight: the quality of your relationships has a more significant impact on your happiness and longevity than wealth or fame. Close connections not only protect against life’s stresses but also contribute to better mental health and a longer life.
Family relationships often serve as our emotional anchor, while friendships enrich our lives with shared experiences, laughter, and companionship. Even brief, positive interactions with acquaintances can lift your spirits and foster a sense of community.
Actionable Advice:
- Schedule quality time with loved ones: Regularly set aside time for meaningful interactions with family and friends. Whether it’s a dinner, a phone call, or a shared hobby, prioritizing time together strengthens your bonds.
- Cultivate new friendships through shared activities: Join groups, clubs, or volunteer organizations where you can meet people who share your interests. Building new friendships adds variety and support to your social network.
- Be present and attentive in your interactions: When spending time with others, give them your full attention. Put away distractions, listen actively, and engage meaningfully to deepen your connections.
Good relationships don’t just happen—they’re nurtured through effort and intention. By investing in the people who matter to you and being open to forming new connections, you create a network of support and joy that enriches your life.
4. Love
While romantic relationships often come to mind first, love extends far beyond this realm. It includes self-love, the compassion we show to others, and the deep bonds we form with those around us. Love strengthens our resilience, motivates us to perform acts of kindness, and gives us the emotional fortitude needed to overcome life’s challenges.
Practicing love in its many forms enriches our lives. Self-love lays the foundation for confidence and well-being while expressing gratitude and care for others strengthens relationships and creates a ripple effect of positivity.
Actionable Advice:
- Show gratitude to those you care about: Acknowledge and appreciate the people who matter to you. A simple “thank you” or a heartfelt note can deepen bonds and strengthen relationships.
- Practice self-compassion and avoid negative self-talk: Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a close friend. Challenge critical thoughts and replace them with affirmations of self-worth.
- Engage in acts of kindness: Small gestures, like helping a neighbor or complimenting a colleague, can brighten someone’s day and nurture your own sense of love and connection.
5. Peace
Inner peace is the calm amidst life’s inevitable storms. It allows us to navigate challenges with clarity, patience, and grace. Achieving peace doesn’t mean avoiding difficulties but learning to accept what we cannot control and focusing on what truly matters.
Inner peace often begins with mindfulness—the practice of staying present and fully engaged in the moment. Forgiveness, both of ourselves and others, is another powerful tool for letting go of past grievances and lightening the emotional load we carry. Even small steps, like creating a serene living space, can contribute to a sense of calm and order.
Actionable Advice:
- Start a daily mindfulness practice: Dedicate a few minutes each day to meditation, deep breathing, or simply sitting in quiet reflection.
- Let go of grudges and practice forgiveness: Holding onto anger or resentment only drains your energy. Choose to forgive—not for the other person’s sake but to free yourself from negativity.
- Create a calm, organized living space: Your environment affects your mindset. Keep your surroundings tidy and incorporate soothing elements like soft lighting, plants, or calming colors to promote peace.
By embracing love and cultivating inner peace, you can create a life that feels balanced, fulfilling, and aligned with what truly matters.
6. Time
How we choose to spend time reflects what we truly value, yet it’s easy to let it slip away on trivial pursuits. Far too often, people only realize the importance of time when it’s running out.
Being intentional with your time means aligning your actions with your priorities. It’s not about cramming more into your day but about ensuring the hours you have are spent meaningfully—on relationships, passions, and experiences that enrich your life.
Actionable Advice:
- Learn to say no to unimportant commitments: Guard your time by politely declining tasks or obligations that don’t align with your values or goals.
- Allocate time for activities that bring you joy: Schedule moments for hobbies, relationships, or relaxation—whatever makes you feel fulfilled. These moments recharge you and add richness to your days.
- Avoid distractions like excessive screen time: Be mindful of how much time you spend on your phone, watching TV, or scrolling social media. Redirect that energy toward activities that align with your priorities.
7. Learning
Learning is the spark that keeps life fresh, engaging, and meaningful. It’s not confined to classrooms or textbooks; continuous learning involves personal growth, skill-building, and drawing lessons from experiences and people around us.
When you embrace a mindset of curiosity, you open yourself to endless opportunities for growth. Learning a new skill, exploring a new topic, or even reflecting on life’s challenges keeps your mind active and your perspective evolving. It’s a pathway to self-improvement and fulfillment.
Actionable Advice:
- Read books that inspire and educate: Choose books that align with your interests or challenge you to think differently.
- Take up a new hobby or skill: Whether it’s painting, coding, cooking, or learning a new language, exploring something new enriches your life and gives you a sense of accomplishment.
- Stay curious and open-minded: Approach life with a willingness to ask questions, try new things, and learn from others.
By valuing time and embracing lifelong learning, you can ensure that every moment of your life is purposeful, enriching, and aligned with what matters most.
what truly matters in life? Deathbed Regrets
What do people regret most when their time is running out? Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse and author of The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, spent years caring for individuals in their final days. Her conversations revealed striking patterns. Many regretted not spending enough time with loved ones, working too much, or neglecting their own happiness in favor of societal expectations or obligations.
These regrets are powerful reminders of how easy it is to get caught up in the busyness of life, losing sight of what truly matters. Reflecting on these lessons from those who’ve reached life’s end can be a profound wake-up call to reevaluate our own priorities before it’s too late.
Key Takeaway:
Reflect on this question: “If I were nearing the end of my life, what would I regret not doing?” The insights you gain from this reflection can profoundly transform your life.
What Truly Matters In Life and Why?
Grasping what truly matters in life serves as a compass, guiding us through the chaos and distractions of modern existence. It helps us make decisions that resonate with our core values, ensuring we’re not just living but thriving. Importantly, it’s not about striving for perfection or following someone else’s idea of success. It’s about embracing balance, finding joy in the small moments, and creating a life filled with meaning and connection.
When we focus on what matters most—our purpose, health, relationships, and personal growth—we align our daily actions with the life we want to lead. This alignment fosters a sense of fulfillment that transcends fleeting pleasures or material achievements.
Final Thoughts
Living a fulfilling life doesn’t happen by chance; it requires intentionality. By prioritizing purpose, nurturing your health, building meaningful relationships, embracing love, seeking inner peace, valuing your time, and committing to lifelong learning, you can craft a life rich with meaning and joy.
What’s more, the impact of such a life extends beyond your own happiness. By living with intention, you inspire and uplift those around you, leaving a lasting legacy of positivity and purpose.
And remember, it’s never too late to start. Every moment offers a fresh opportunity to realign your priorities and focus on what truly matters. Start small, stay consistent, and watch as your life transforms into one of fulfillment, happiness, and deep connection.
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